we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
