What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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