i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
