so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
