worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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