Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
