i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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