Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
