Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
