I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
