you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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