Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
