It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My pussy is not your playground.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
