you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
