is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
