She's JV to your varsity
I don't think brook has ever known best
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
