i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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