I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
