She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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