I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
