No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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