first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
