YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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