Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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