You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
