Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
