I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
