Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
