To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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