New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Your cock deserves a montage
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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