Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
it's like iHOP with fire
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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