Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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