remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it's like heaven, but drunker
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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