Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
