he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize