He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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