then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
