Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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