Its about making memories worth repressing
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize