First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
