I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
my liver is dry heaving
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
