WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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