All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he shaved USA in his pubs
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
