my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
