I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
