brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
from now on my penis is your penis
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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