Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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