??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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