Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
