no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
