Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
