He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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