can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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