they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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