It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
