It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
