I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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