If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize