I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
