Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
