Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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