their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
